Snark

I love snarkiness.
It can be a potent weapon. It can be funny. It takes some thought and brains, therefore, it is not a tool available to just anyone. I also love calling people "snarkypants". Really cuts through tension but still says "you are annoying the shit out of me". That said, I sure do hate when people are snarky to me. Especially when they are 10 years old and I have to help them bake 4 dozen muffins. (Which is what I did last night.)

Anyway, what brought on this ode to snark was a fine example I read today in an article my brother alerted me to (which I alerted him to a year ago...aren't siblings handy?). Do you all know who Mark Bittman is? If not, he's....somewhat of a god. He writes for the New York Times food column, The Minimalist, and also wrote How to Cook Everything and a number of other cookbooks. The article in question is about how to best equip your kitchen for the least amount of money. And, since I'm moving across the country into my first apartment, that's a question that's been weighing heavily on my mind. This bit at the end of the article lightened the mood a little bit:

The Inessentials
You can live without these 10 kitchen items:
BREAD MACHINE You can buy mediocre bread easily enough, or make the real thing without much practice.
MICROWAVE If you do a lot of reheating or fast (and damaging) defrosting, you may want one. But essential? No. And think about that counter space!
STAND MIXER Unless you’re a baking fanatic, it takes up too much room to justify it. A good whisk or a crummy handheld mixer will do fine.
BONING/FILLETING KNIVES Really? You’re a butcher now? Or a fishmonger? If so, go ahead, by all means. But I haven’t used my boning knife in years. (It’s pretty, though.)
WOK Counterproductive without a good wok station equipped with a high-B.T.U. burner. (There’s a nice setup at Bowery Restaurant Supply for $1,400 if you have the cash and the space.)
STOCKPOT The pot you use for boiling pasta will suffice, until you start making gallons of stock at a time.
PRESSURE COOKER It’s useful, but do you need one? No.
ANYTHING MADE OF COPPER More trouble than it’s worth, unless you have a pine-paneled wall you want to decorate.
RICE COOKER Yes, if you eat rice twice daily. Otherwise, no.
COUNTERTOP CONVECTION OVEN, ROTISSERIE, OR “ROASTER” Only if you’re a sucker for late-night cooking infomercials.

heh, heh. I especially like the bit about knives.

 Find the entire article here.